Sometimes I don't think being a Superjock is worth the hassle. Powermom and Ultradad don't even bother looking at my report card as long as I'm still on the team, Megacoach is always barking orders, and everything in my life is just a prelude to the big game. For once I'd like to be treated like all the other hyperstudents at my omnischool. It could be worse, I guess. Nobody wants to be an overnerd, scribbling away in a notebook, breaking the sound barrier with the speed of their knowledge. But half-court dunks and trick shots off other planets get old fast. There are times when I wish I didn't live in a world of plastic people who embody stereotypes for the entertainment of children.

Also, having a penis would be nice.

A few months ago, my car was damaged. Yesterday I received this letter:



My response:

Doing laundry on a budget has never been so depressing.

If you're like me, the dirt simple act of opening a ketchup packet leaves your hands looking like a murderer's after a long day murdering. Red goo everywhere, paper cuts from whatever material that isn't paper the packet is made from, and a shriveled and crushed little condiment pouch laying in front you, mocking the world with its inferior design. Well not anymore, since people have been paid money to revamp something fast food patrons thought was perfect because they foolishly had better things to think about.



Now there's two ways to get delicious tomato product onto your food, thanks to the good people at Heinz - dippin' or squeezin', both from the same container. If you didn't think 2010 was the future, you just got proven pretty damn wrong.

TIMDENNIS MAKE HIRE FORIEGN GOONS TO INTIMIDATE FOR MAKING WEB POSTS. TIMDENNIS FAILE TO MAKE POSTS ALL OF JANUARY NOW GOONS FORCED TO ACT, BREAK MANY TIMDENNIS BONES AS HOWLING IN PAIN. WHY TIMDENNIS NOT POST ON HIS OWN WEBSITE? TIMDENNIS FOOL IN EYES OF ALL HIRED GOONS OF UNKNOWN GEOGRAPHIC ORIGIN.

ALSO SELL WAGON.

GOONS USE WEBSITE POSTINGS TO SELL QUALITY WAGON IN MEANTIME. QUALITY WAGON MADE OF HAND BY VILLAGE CRAFTSMAN. YOU BUY NOW, MADE QUALITY OF MUCH QUALITY WOODEN FIVE STARS QUALITY. CONTACT TIMDENNIS FOR DETAILS HE SHOULD A LOT MORE PRESENT IN FEBRUARY.

ELSE MANY MORE WAGONS SOLD.