Recently I discovered that Yahoo! now supports status updates, so you can relate to people all the borderline retarded mini-anecdotes you have that didn’t make Twitter or Facebook. And if you don’t have any borderline retarded mini-anecdotes left, an awful thing called Status-O-Matique can help you:
 

 
Status-O-Matique is an insulting idea with an annoying name executed poorly. If you don’t have anything to say (because you’re an idiot), you can click a little gray exclamation point, as you’d presumably be in a sweaty panic, and get what amounts to shitty bumper sticker humor to broadcast exclusively to folks who tolerate you enough to have your e-mail account in their address book.
 
 
Above is a play on words sure to delight any coworkers who are also stuck in white collar hell. And who also hate Mondays. And who also own an amount of cats they can no longer quantify beyond how much they spend per month on bulk Fancy Feast and sawdust.
 
 
 
 
They’re all very bad. “Uncle who thinks he’s a hoot” bad. And I honestly don’t appreciate Yahoo! assuming I’d be interested in sharing these with other human beings in any way other than in disgust. So again, my pointless internet wrath is directed towards my homepage, and a half-assed blog entry is created from it. I’ll leave you with this:
 

Way to undo a Simpsons joke, assholes.