It’s no secret that confidently relating to other people is difficult. And it’s also no secret that this is a direct result of the too-cool-for-school entertainment industry. Every time our nation’s youth turns on a television or enters a movie theater, we are bombarded with the most awesome fictional characters our collective imaginations can conjure. It takes a lot to keep up the appearance of being in that same league, reaching that same bar, which our culture so adamantly demands. Unfortunately this is a task I have never been up to – the gap has always been too wide.
 
Until now.
 
The tide is turning, you see. The people we’re being presented with on screen are changing. They’re not suave, comfortingly cool folks. No, they’re becoming increasingly off-putting and weird, just like me. Look at this. Look:
 

 
That’s an advertisement. People chose this woman to represent them and their product, and she’s astonishingly, unrepentantly creepy. And it fills me with hope. Hope that I can one day be seen as a regular guy, because of this whole new standard. I can pull this off – I just need to keep my cool and appear as stoned as humanly possible. That’s it. No other requirements.
 
Sign me up.