I’m going to be the man who wears a turtleneck all the time. My event calendar will be full. I will go to parties. My turtleneck will be my defining trait. I will make unremarkable chit chat. I will not make a verbal impression on people. People will know me by my turtleneck alone. They…

Like most people, I steal all of my ideas. There isn’t an original bone in my gangly body, and the only hope I have of coming up with a new thought is cramming together two that belonged to other people. This is how I roll, and will continue to roll, but the least I can…

There’s never a shortage of dumb things going on in Florida, but a recent article regarding a possible change to Kissimmee’s logo caught my eye. City officials are keen to add “In God We Trust” to the bottom, proclaiming hot and heavy love for the Jesus on behalf of their fellow citizens. A theoretical change…

Recently I discovered that Yahoo! now supports status updates, so you can relate to people all the borderline retarded mini-anecdotes you have that didn’t make Twitter or Facebook. And if you don’t have any borderline retarded mini-anecdotes left, an awful thing called Status-O-Matique can help you:     Status-O-Matique is an insulting idea with an…