I wonder if Donkey Kong and Bowser know each other. It’s true that they ended up kicking each other’s ass in Super Smash Brothers, but that was just because everyone from everywhere was kicking each other’s ass. In the regular old Mario universe, I don’t think anyone mentions that the princess was once captured by a large ape instead of a reptilian overlord with an entire kingdom at his disposal, and I believe I know why.
 
Everyone is really fucking embarrassed.
 
Imagine you’re a world renowned hero like Mario, having saved your lover (a widely recognized political figure) from countless onslaughts of weird looking creatures, both biologically and supernaturally threatening. Hordes upon hordes of scarcely imaginable villains have fallen by your sword, or hammer, or fireball, or whatever else you got your square little hands on. And a while back, you got the runaround from this asshole:
 

 
Oh wait, he has barrels, no wonder you had such a tough time. You jackass.
 
My guess is that after the initial Kong kidnapping, Mario (then known as Jumpman) had his name changed so as to prevent being hassled by everyone for getting caught with his pants down by a gorilla. There’s also some nonsense about the damsel in distress being someone named Pauline, which is more than likely a government cover-up so the princess could save face. Things like this happen all the time when stuff goes wrong with monkeys.
 
I just think people should be honest about it.